Finland has once again bestowed its Christmas gifts upon us with some
early 'holiday weather', nothing like 14 F and a foot of snow to kick
off the holiday season. I guess its give and take-- snow flurries in your nose and zero visibility when crossing the street to the bus stop, the whiz of the snow plow all hours of the night, but the white of the snow does reflect any speck of sunlight that manages to make it way here, making the darkness a bit more manageable.
A Kurdish friend here who has four kids, the youngest
daughter Ella's age who also nursed until around 2, gave me a few tips on helping a very attached baby wean. She has been super attached to
the breast thus far and it was my fault for letting
them be a transition and solution to most everything: sleeping, getting
dressed, boo-boos, frustration, boredom etc. In doing this I hindered her in developing good sleeping and eating habits, which now that she is getting older are becoming more problematic--pulling down my shirt in the middle of music class, on buses, in grocery stores, in the middle of the street, at the play ground and then never eating more than two or three spoonfuls of even her most favorite foods, never eating breakfast, not to mention the exhausting routine of 5, 6, 7 wakings at night to nurse. I was hoping that this
quick weaning would be easier and better in the end for all of us; she put
up such a fight previously when I would say no boobies now or boobies
are sleep, and Ferhat couldn't deal with her crying or asking so he'd
always just yell 'give it to her.' Ferhat needed his sleep for his demanding school/work life as do both Ella and I. One afternoon this week I decided to give it a try. Upon happily waking up from her nap I deflected her customary just waking-up nursing by saying, "You don't want boobies now they're gross, sour like lemons." She repeated, pointing--albeit a little concerned--with "gross". A little later on we repeated the drill and let her have a look. That night she ate a surprisingly good dinner and all seemed to be going well until she refused to go to sleep. She has had the nursing to sleep routine ever since birth. From 2 months till 6 months Ella and I were separated from Ferhat and got in the habit of nursing to sleep and back to sleep as well as co-sleeping. She told me a day later pointing, 'boobies gross' again and I let
her taste the breast even though it
wasn't gross she just pushed it away and said no boobies. This morning
she just pointed at them and laughed. I expected her to at best reduce nursing some, but was blown away by her complete refusal. I was worried that I traumatized
her by going too quickly with the weaning. On the positive side, I feel a
little better knowing that she hasn't been cold, distant, distrusting,
or sad during the day. Aside from being a little sleepy from the new night routine and waking to eat she really seems to be unaffected, playing like she normally does and even perhaps content longer due to a stomach that stays fuller longer. In an effort to move beyond my hormonal emotional state, torn between gaining the better sleeping and eating behaviors for Ella's health and the fear of losing the special physical bond with my daughter, I started to wonder if perhaps she was more ready for weaning than I was. For around two weeks breast feeding to sleep at night wasn't satisfying for her, she would push me away and call out for BABA to come, also a few times during the day she wasn't obliged the have her cries hushed with the boob. So now, if we can get a handle on this new
sleep routine and eating more during the day then we'll be all patched up and
can happily embark on the post- breastfeeding era of Ella's toddlerhood.
They say after children stop breastfeeding and start having to deal
with life situations on their own or with other 'props' they begin
showing their individual personality. I'm excited to see the girl Ella will become.
